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BOOK EXCERPT
📖 Ask Better Questions & Become A Better Networker
Excerpted and adapted from 3 Simple Networking Tactics book by Bart Smith
Reprinted by Permission
One of the biggest networking mistakes people make is thinking they need to be fascinating.
They rehearse what they are going to say, worry about sounding impressive and spend the entire event trying to explain themselves.
A better approach is much simpler: ask better questions.
The person asking good questions controls the direction of the conversation without dominating it. Questions keep the other person talking, help you learn what matters to them and show you whether there is a way to help.
SHIFT THE FOCUS FROM YOU TO THEM
Go into every networking event with one question in mind:
How can I help the people I meet?
When you make that your focus, networking becomes easier. You no longer have to walk into the room worrying about how you are going to impress everyone.
Your job is to learn.
QUESTIONS THAT GET THE CONVERSATION MOVING
1. What's your name?
Simple, obvious and still the best place to begin.
2. What do you do?
Let them explain their work in their own words.
3. Where are you from?
This often uncovers common ground and makes the conversation more personal.
4. How did you hear about this event?
A useful event-specific question that can lead to mutual contacts or shared interests.
5. How did you get into your profession?
People usually enjoy telling the story of how they got started.
6. It opens doors.
A casual introduction can lead to a speaking invitation, media opportunity, partnership, referral, vendor relationship, client or new idea. You rarely know which conversation will matter most.
7. It gives you fresh ideas.
Listening to other business owners, professionals and entrepreneurs exposes you to new perspectives, products, services and ways of solving problems.
8. It creates partnerships and collaborations.
Joint ventures, referral arrangements, bundled offers and strategic alliances often begin with nothing more than two people realizing they could create something useful together.
9. It helps you build a stronger support network.
Business can feel isolating. Networking connects you with people who understand the challenges, opportunities and pressures you deal with.
10. It makes marketing more human.
At its best, networking is relationship marketing. You are not blasting a message at strangers. You are creating conversations with real people and learning how you can help one another.
LISTEN MORE THAN YOU TALK
Good networking is not a contest to see who can talk the longest.
Let the other person do most of the talking. A useful rule is roughly 70/30: give them most of the conversation and use your time to respond, ask follow-up questions and share only what is relevant.
Do not interrupt. Do not fire-hose someone with every detail about your business. Speak in short, easy-to-digest sound bites.
If you do talk about yourself, wait until the person asks or until the conversation naturally creates an opportunity.
ASKING QUESTIONS ALSO SAVES TIME
Questions help you quickly determine whether the person is a potential client, referral partner, collaborator, vendor, resource, friend - or simply someone you enjoyed meeting.
If the conversation is not going anywhere, you can politely move on. Ask whether they have met anyone interesting, whether they can introduce you to someone, or whether you can continue the conversation later.
The better you become at asking questions, the less pressure you feel to perform.
You do not have to be the most interesting person in the room. Be the person who is most interested.
(THIS CONTINUES IN THE BOOK)
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