How can you possibly know what kind of person will make you happy if you don't thoroughly understand YOURSELF?

What are your interests? Your values? Your ambitions? Your strengths and weaknesses?

What makes you happy? What drives you absolutely CRAZY? Do you want marriage? Children? Travel? A quiet life? An adventurous life? A big family? A houseful of pets? START ASKING YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS!

Write down your answers. Get specific! The more you understand your own personality, needs, preferences, and aspirations, the easier it becomes to recognize someone who might complement your life.

KNOW WHO YOU ARE BEFORE DECIDING WHO YOU WANT!

OH, NOW THERE'S A QUESTION! Are you kind? Considerate? Dependable? Emotionally mature? Can you hold an interesting conversation? Listen without interrupting? Admit when you're wrong? Handle disappointment without making everyone around you miserable? And here's another important question:

DO YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY YOUR OWN COMPANY?

In my book, I encourage readers to love themselves, become their own best friend, and take responsibility for their actions and decisions. Because if you can't stand spending time with yourself, why should someone else be thrilled about spending the next 40 years with you? Something to think about, eh?

Let's talk about a few practical things. Your health. Your finances. Your career. Your home. Your personal habits.

→ Are you taking care of yourself?

→ Are you continuing to learn, improve, and develop your abilities?

→ Are you financially responsible? Do you manage your responsibilities reasonably well?

→ And what about your living environment?

If somebody wonderful came over for dinner tomorrow, would you proudly welcome them inside—or would you need three cleaning crews, a dumpster, and a building inspector?

HAHAHAHA!

Listen, nobody expects perfection. But being responsible for your own life demonstrates that you're prepared to contribute something positive to a relationship.

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF FOR YOURSELF FIRST—and for the person you eventually share your life with!

Now, don't misunderstand me. Physical attraction matters! But a beautiful face doesn't automatically come with a beautiful personality. That handsome gentleman might be gorgeous on the outside but completely irresponsible on the inside. And that stunning woman might turn heads everywhere she goes but treat people terribly!

SO WHAT GOOD IS THAT?

In Find The One For Me, I encourage readers to reconsider their physical-appearance checklists and devote more attention to character, values, behavior, communication, and compatibility.

Here's a particularly important question:

HOW DOES THIS PERSON MAKE YOU FEEL WHEN YOU'RE TOGETHER?

And don't forget to reverse that question!

HOW DO YOU MAKE THEM FEEL?

Because relationships aren't supposed to be one-sided auditions where everybody competes for the privilege of making YOU happy!

In my book, I identify 36 things you should never sacrifice for a relationship. Among them are your self-respect, independence, values, happiness, health, family, friendships, goals, and freedom to make your own decisions.

Relationships require compromise. Absolutely! But compromise shouldn't mean surrendering your identity, tolerating abuse, or allowing someone to control your life. And the same goes for the person you're dating! Respect their individuality just as you expect them to respect yours.

FIND SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATES WHO YOU ARE, NOT SOMEONE WHO INSISTS ON REMAKING YOU INTO SOMEBODY ELSE!

Once you've spent some time getting to know yourself and making meaningful improvements, it's time to participate in the world!

Pursue your interests. Meet people. Try new activities. Develop friendships. Travel when possible. Enjoy life!

Your future partner might share some of your interests—or introduce you to wonderful experiences you never considered before.

But you certainly increase your opportunities to meet compatible people when you're actively participating in life rather than waiting for someone to magically appear at your front door.