Oh, I know! He's handsome! She's gorgeous! Those eyes! That smile! That BODY! WHOA, DAWG! CALM DOWN! Physical attraction is wonderful, but good looks won't tell you whether someone is honest, thoughtful, emotionally mature, dependable, or capable of maintaining a loving relationship.

Spend time learning about their character. How do they treat restaurant employees, strangers, friends, family members, and people who can't do anything for them?

DON'T JUST FALL IN LOVE WITH WHAT YOU SEE. TAKE TIME TO DISCOVER WHO YOU'RE ACTUALLY LOOKING AT!

Can you talk openly with this person? Can you discuss your feelings, opinions, concerns, and dreams without worrying about being ridiculed or dismissed? And here's another question:

DO THEY ACTUALLY LISTEN TO YOU?

I mean REALLY listen—not spend the entire conversation waiting for you to stop talking so they can start talking about THEMSELVES! HAHA! Communication is one of the qualities I emphasize throughout Find The One For Me.

You don't have to agree on everything. But you should be able to discuss disagreements respectfully and work toward solutions together.

IF YOU CAN'T COMMUNICATE DURING DATING, DON'T EXPECT MARRIAGE TO MAGICALLY FIX THE PROBLEM!

Does this person respect your individuality? Your friends? Your family? Your career? Your interests? Your personal boundaries? Or do they constantly criticize your choices, demand your attention, and attempt to control how you live?

NOT GOOD! A healthy relationship allows two people to enjoy life together without requiring either person to surrender their identity.

In my book, I identify 36 Things You Should Never Sacrifice For A Relationship, including your self-respect, independence, happiness, goals, and freedom of choice.

THE RIGHT PERSON SHOULD APPRECIATE WHO YOU ARE, NOT INSIST ON CONTROLLING WHO YOU BECOME!

Everybody wants someone they can trust. But trust isn't established simply because somebody announces, "You can trust me!" OH, REALLY? BASED ON WHAT? Pay attention to whether their words and actions agree.

Do they keep promises? Tell the truth? Take responsibility for mistakes? Treat your confidence and privacy with respect? And are YOU doing those same things? As you spend more time together, you'll begin developing a clearer understanding of each other's character.

TRUST SHOULD GROW FROM CONSISTENT BEHAVIOR, NOT BEAUTIFUL PROMISES!

Let's imagine something. You want to get married and have children. The person you're dating wants neither. You want to travel, build a business, and live near the ocean. They want a quiet life in the mountains and have absolutely no interest in leaving! HMMMM. WE MIGHT HAVE A FEW THINGS TO DISCUSS! 😂

Talk about your future. Marriage, children, finances, careers, living arrangements, family responsibilities, and personal ambitions are all important considerations. You don't have to share every interest or ambition, but your major goals should be compatible enough to build a life you're BOTH excited about.

LOVE IS WONDERFUL. BUT YOU ALSO NEED TO KNOW WHETHER YOU'RE HEADING IN THE SAME DIRECTION!

In Find The One For Me, I discuss 50 Red Flags That Might Indicate There's Trouble In The House Of Love.

And there's a reason I devoted so much attention to them! Jealousy, dishonesty, intimidation, manipulation, controlling behavior, persistent disrespect, and substance-related problems can seriously damage a relationship.

Pay attention to repeated patterns, not simply isolated misunderstandings. If somebody makes you feel unsafe, threatens you, or behaves abusively, take those signs seriously and prioritize your safety.

And don't convince yourself that getting married will automatically make unacceptable behavior disappear!

WHEN SOMEONE REPEATEDLY SHOWS YOU BEHAVIOR THAT COULD HARM YOUR FUTURE, PAY ATTENTION!

Here's something people sometimes overlook. You may be absolutely convinced you've found THE ONE. BUT DOES THE OTHER PERSON FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU? Do they make time for you? Include you in their future plans? Demonstrate affection, appreciation, and genuine interest? Are they prepared for the kind of relationship you're seeking?

Or are you doing all the planning, calling, compromising, and emotional investing while they're enjoying the benefits without making much effort?

A LASTING RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES TWO WILLING PARTICIPANTS!

Take your time. Observe how the relationship develops. Have honest conversations about what each of you wants.

If you're both committed to building something meaningful, WONDERFUL! If not, better to understand that before investing years in a relationship that isn't meeting your needs.